And sometimes, most days actually, I think "Wow! You need to breathe Amanda! They are just children!" So what is a modern, stay-at-home-mommy supposed to do? (You see the use of modern? It's there because in 1955 I just would have started mixing martinis at 3:30 PM.) Well here is what I'm going to do: my list for taking the steps necessary to change my outlook on myself as a momma.
1. Count to 10. And do it right now! Before you yell or put them in time-out or lose your cool. Is what they are asking or doing really all that bad? Are they just being children? Probably. See? You are much calmer now.
2. At least once a day when they ask you to do something you do not want to do, do it anyway! Why? Well because you make them do things all day long that they don't want to do and turn about is just fair play!
3. Be silly! This one is very hard for me. I'm sure there is some deep-rooted early childhood trauma or family issue that has caused me to pretend that nothing amuses me but... I'm raising children. And the whole wide world amuses them so I should just roll with it and laugh, and make goofy faces and let myself giggle when they burp (Unless it's at the dinner table... I have lines.)
4. Remember those games you played as a kid? Teach them to your kids! Jump over the cracks, play "I Spy with My Little Eye", Candyland, Chutes and Ladders, Cooties, "My Momma Told Me", etc. If you PLAY with your children then you let yourself into their world. You become a part of their imagination. Why would you NOT want to be a part of that?!
5. Let them help you. Yes, this may make things harder for you in the end but the only they way they learn is by being taught. Cooking, setting the table, cleaning, doing laundry, planting flowers, the list could go on and on and on. And they WANT to do all of these things. It makes them feel important and helpful and close to you, so let them! Besides, someday they will be teenagers and they won't want to. (And maybe, just maybe, if you teach them the importance of taking responsibility for your home and yourself now, you won't raise ungrateful, little, entitled shits! ~ Rant over.)
6. Take a walk. Now this one seems very simple but kids are intrigued by just about everything so go for a walk with them and let them talk your ear off.
7. Ask them questions. This can go hand in had with just about everything above but if I'm being honest, and I am, then sometimes I don't ask my kids questions because I'm in a hurry and "I don't have enough time" to hear the entire answer. This is, of course, very untrue. I have plenty of time to hear everything they tell me, because if I don't then someday they just won't talk to me and that sounds like utter hell.
8. Bake with them. Why? Because children need to be taught to cook. Why? Because baking teaches basic math skills. Why? Because if they can bake they can make homemade gifts for their friends and loved ones for the rest of their lives. Why? Because when you are done you have yummy treats to eat!
9. Take road trips. Now, I know these can be challenging. But I truly believe in the power of endless hours in the car. As I said to a friend recently, "I want my kiddos to know I love them so much, that I'm willing to spend 20 hours in the car with them!" Look for a How We Survive Road Trips post very soon!
10. Look them in the eye and tell them you love them. Tell them they are smart. Tell them what they do well. Tell them you are proud of them. Tell them they are funny. But most importantly: LOOK THEM IN THE EYE! I believe in this. I really do. Eye contact is truly a connection, we can say any number of things but did the other person really hear you? Understand you? You'll never know if you don't look them in the eye.
Well there 'ya go! Maybe these will help you too. Maybe you need a reminder just as much as I do, that being a Mommy can be very tough and we all need to remember what's important once in a while. Or maybe you need some ideas on how to connect with your little ones. Whatever you needed, I hope you found it! Oh and one more thing: I truly believe a glass of wine after bed time makes me a better mommy. And wife. And woman. It just makes me happy!
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